The virtues of community

AWP

“AWP” stands for the Association of Writers & Writing Programs. The three letters near-universally refer, mononymically, to the annual conference of this organization, the flagship conference of the “industry” in which I’ve spent my career. Yet I have only gone to AWP once, in Seattle in 2013, a time so long ago that it predates my iPhone usage and I cannot find any photographic evidence that I actually attended. I remember a statement necklace, a red-and-black checked silk shirt from J. Crew that I miss, and a very tall quiff of platinum hair, which I also miss. I saw a poet I knew only from the internet and couldn’t think of what to say to him. He complimented my coat. “You’re very attractive,” I said. Well, it was true.

All in all, AWP 2013 was pretty fun! I spent three hours in my hotel room being interviewed as part of the casting process for a reality show, and then, back in L.A., received an email from the producer who had taped me, telling me that whoops, her camera hadn’t actually been recording, and could I self-tape the whole thing again, and I never replied. But that wasn’t actually related to AWP, I guess.

Now I’m doing it again. Find me sometimes at Antioch MFA HQ, Booth 414 in the Bookfair! I’d love to see you.

Antioch MFA

Speaking of Antioch, the MFA program of which I am Program Chair recently debuted our stellar lineup for our June residency and Summer/Fall project period. We are still taking applications, and scholarships are available! I will be giving an info session about the program next Wednesday, April 2, at 5 PM PT / 8 PM ET, which you can sign up for here. If you or someone you know are considering an MFA, please keep our unique, hybrid, community-focused program in mind.

Mendocino Coast Writers’ Conference

Speaking of writing programs, the best writers’ conference in the most beautiful place in the world is about to open for general registration on April 1! The Mendocino Coast Writers’ Conference is a wonderful experience for writers at all levels, and we have a really incredible array of workshops and seminars available to participants this summer. Don’t miss your chance at a spot in one of our workshops!

Upcoming Events

Hey L.A.! Come hear me read at a few places in the coming weeks!

I’m excited and a little intimidated to take part in the AWP Afterparty and Marathon Reading at Tabula Rasa in Hollywood on Sunday, March 30, from 4-8 PM. Join us at 5125 Hollywood Boulevard for a rad late afternoon and early evening.

Then, on April 11 at 7 PM, I’m excited to be part of a group reading with Katya Apekina, Melissa Broder, and Emma Specter in celebration of the paperback release of Katya’s novel Mother Doll at wonderful Sunny’s Bookshop in Tarzana! It will be really fun to celebrate Katya’s beautiful book with writers I admire and we would be honored to have you there. RSVP here!

Also, I’m delighted to share that on May 1 at 7 PM, I’ll be in conversation with Sarah Manguso about her wonderful new book Questions Without Answers, illustrated by artist Liana Finck, at Diesel, A Bookstore, in Brentwood! I’ll have more information to share about this event in a future newsletter.

Hope to see you there!

Thank you

Thank you for the many kind responses I received to last week’s Not Knowing How about the Los Angeles Times’s disparagement of beloved feminist poet Sharon Olds. It was very meaningful to me and affirming to receive messages of support and shared outrage around this issue. One of the reasons that I chose to write about the Times’s treatment of Olds, despite not wanting to call any more attention to their tabloid-style reporting, is because it made me deeply sad to think that the article would be anyone’s first introduction to Sharon Olds.

Once, trying to explain to my father why my ex-husband and I so loved the Jim Jarmusch film Only Lovers Left Alive, I said: “Sometimes you can feel like a vampire, like you are outside of time, because the things you care about are shared by so few people.” I’ve built my life in a way that the people close to me, and the people I work with, and at least many of the people I encounter in my days, care about books and literature and film and music—and, you might think, who doesn’t care about any of those things? I don’t know; perhaps it is the detritus of being a bullied adolescent, but in the last few years I have become particularly aware of the ways in which I live outside culture. Or in my own special corner of it? I love vampires; there has never been any other kind of aspirational romantic supernatural creature for me, and vampires are romantic because vampires are inherently lonely. How could they help but live lives governed by desire?

To receive so many kind and outraged responses, both from long readers of Sharon Olds’s poetry and from people evidently discovering her work for the first time, made me feel like a member of a community. Thank you.

I can also share here that I was able to make contact with Sharon through her assistant, and that she is doing OK despite coping with an illness. I look forward to communicating with her more regularly moving forward. This experience was about that for me, too: a reminder that even if you feel guilty for not being in better touch with someone you love, it is always a good idea to reach out. That might so obvious as to be a cliche—but it is also something I struggle with on an almost daily basis, so in case anyone else needs this reminder, I will just leave it here.

News of the newsletter

“I have to go write my newsletter,” I told my partner.

“Are you—what are you doing? Are you sending our a newsletter every week? You sent one out last week.”

“Yeah,” I said. “That’s the idea.”

“Why are you doing that?” He looked genuinely concerned. “I am doing that. Why would you do it?”

I am trying to send out a Not Knowing How every week. I’ve dipped my toes in the world of newsletter ideology, and understand how useful having an active and compelling one can be in terms of staying connected and creating a platform for oneself.I also just like being in touch. But in the two years and change I’ve written here, I’ve also had long periods of not writing, which have felt necessary and meaningful too. So for right now, I’m trying to write here! Let’s see how that goes!

I am trying to do a better job of recording ideas for newsletters as they come to me, and then actually writing them.

I have some thoughts on good and evil in the current moment to share at some point in a newsletter or series of newsletters. You know, no big deal.

Perhaps disparate (or not) from good and evil, I have also thought for a long time about writing about my relationship to fashion here, although my sense of self-seriousness has thus far prevented that. But look out for thoughts on my nascent “cozy mom” aesthetic here soon. Maybe.

AWP Again

Late-breaking: apparently all of my AWP memories were lies! I found a photo deep in the annals of Facebook, and apparently I went in 2014, not 2013.

That top was definitely from J. Crew, though. I wore it for years.

Thank you for reading. Stay safe, everyone, and rest well.